Morning Musing on the days when Peri + me clash
Luvlies, Good morning. Is it actually a good morning or am I pretending it is? I woke-up grumpy with little to no sense of the rational. I have to pass a giant mirror when heading to the kitchenette to make my morning beverages and today I audibly gasped at my presence. I caught that angle where the legs look ‘odd’, my stomach and boobies are still very much distended and I just looked worn out. YUCKYUCKYUCK. These are the days were Peri and I have to have a talk. In fact we clash and the confrontation can be eye-opening.
Peri (aka Perimenopause) is that passive-aggressive, older woman who doles out the occasional hate crime comment, but brushes it off as ‘just an observation’ rather than the abuse that it is. She’s the dance teacher that calls children fat and never has anywhere else to be other than exactly where you are. Ol’ gworl likes to tussle and she’s been showing up more and more lately uninvited and feels entitled to my time. But bish… I’m grown now and I’m okay with shouting a hag down when I need to. Lord knows I need to today.
Peri stated (in her deadpanned voice) that I will never get back to the way I want to look and feel, that I’m desirable to no one AND… I smell. Only one of those things are true and will be solved after I finish writing this. But I talk to Peri like I talk to any old person who’s out of pocket. I threaten to not change their diaper and put them in a home by the end of the week.
I’m a baddie. Periodt.
Self-doubt has no place to rest their weary head here. I look amazing for someone who’s about to enter another decade. I have to remind Peri that I am healing from a physical trauma that is surgery, and I will most certainly NOT have the summer body I’ve been working towards. It might be early fall one, but it will be here just in time for winter vacation.
But who dafuk am I talking to anyway? THERE IS LITERALLY NO ONE HERE BUT ME, so where is this voice coming from?? I do not know but I have no time for negative self-talk these days. And if Peri wants to keep making her presence known, imma need some duck tape, security ties and a basement.
…and that’s time. Still here? Leave your thoughts down below.
See you tomorrow Luvlies!
xoxo Luv Laney Luv
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Morning Musing is a pomodoro-timed, free thought experiment to get back into the swing of things. No Ai added.
