Morning Musing on Genxer’s Pride and Stubbornness
Luvlies, Good morning. I am curious: When is it a good time to ask for help? I fear my generation did not learn how to do this and we are running into problems because of it. As a latchkey kid, I understand first-hand how difficult it is to let people know you’re in vulnerable place. The generation before us helped put many of us in this position to begin with, so there is little trust between us. We have these unspoken rules around not asking the younger generation for help, because we think that we are at the age of mentors, not mentees. But we have to shake this attitude, otherwise we’ll all be sunk.
The homeless shelters are filled with Genxers who were too proud to let people know they needed help. The AHW who has been helping me recover, is an asylum seeker living in a shelter. She has a wonderful relationship with her children, yet she doesn’t want to bother them by telling them she’s struggling. She’s working 3 jobs in a country that is exploiting her labour, because she doesn’t think her children could handle her situation. She doesn’t want to burden them, but withholding this information from the people who love her is destroying her.
It just put me in thought spiral around the issue of trust, feeling like a burden, pride and stubbornness. Is it North America and the lack of quality social services that leaves its population feeling abandoned? Is it that we are chronically underfunded from elementary school through to university and told to make magic from nothing? Is it because there are too many policies in place that prevent us from forming community with one another? Or is it our pride that gets in the way of our needs?
See, I am shameless. This is a recent development in my personal growth. Since I started working with men in tech, my forwardness replaced my pride. Men are shameless when it comes to getting what they need from everyone around them. Audacity is the name of the game and they hate to see it in women… but I could care less. What I learned from the visionless species, is that…
‘…if you do not tell people what you want, you won’t have a chance to get it.’
Laney Luv, 2026
Notice how I did not say ‘ask for what you want’. TELL is the operative word.
I tell people what I need from them. It makes them uncomfortable because it’s confrontational, yet it’s honest. I had to stop asking people for help and TELL them I needed help. I literally use the words ‘Help me’ when I need something.
To my doctors – ‘I need you to HELP ME get better. That is why I’m here.’
To the store clerk – ‘HELP ME pack my groceries please.’
To my bank – ‘I need you to HELP ME find a better option or I’ll go broke.’
To my ex-colleagues gossiping about a friend having a hard time – ‘HELP HER! She clearly needs help, not your judgement.’
Be dramatic because this situation is dramatic. Speak in the imperative because the situation is imperative. Tell people you need help and they will tell you if they can or cannot.
…and that’s time. Is it hard for you to ask for help? Share your thoughts below.
See you tomorrow Luvlies!
xoxo Luv Laney Luv
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Morning Musing is a pomodoro-timed, free thought experiment to get back into the swing of things. No Ai added.
